The truth about birth that antenatal classes don’t always cover
You’ve probably read the books, packed the hospital bag, and practiced your breathing techniques. But labour and birth can still surprise you. Not because you’re unprepared, but because there are some things people just don’t talk about enough.
At Window to the Womb, we meet thousands of parents-to-be who are excited, nervous, and full of questions. This post is for you and to offer real insight, quiet reassurance, and a little of what no one else says out loud.
1. Labour Doesn’t Always Start with Waters Breaking
In films, labour begins with a dramatic gush of water in the middle of a supermarket. In reality? Not so much. For many women, waters don’t break until much later or need to be broken in hospital by a midwife.
What’s more common? Subtle cramps, a sore back, or a gradual build-up of contractions. Every woman’s body is different.
2. The Early Stages Can Take Time
Latent labour (early contractions) can last for hours or even days. This phase is important, but it’s often not the part where you’re rushing to hospital.
You might feel a bit disheartened if things aren’t progressing as quickly as expected. Rest when you can, stay hydrated, and try not to clock-watch. You’re doing more than you think.
3. You Might Not Stick to Your Birth ‘Plan’
It’s absolutely OK to have preferences. But sometimes the reality of labour calls for flexibility. You might want a water birth and change your mind. You might aim to avoid pain relief and later opt for an epidural. That doesn’t make you any less strong. We recommend calling it a birth ‘preference’ rather than a ‘plan’.
What’s important is that you are armed with the right information to make informed decisions in your birth. You are allowed to ask questions, you are allowed to decline or accept whichever options are presented to you.
Your job isn’t to have a “perfect birth.” It’s to bring your baby into the world safely, however that looks.
4. It’s Intense…But So Are You
Labour can be tough. That’s not a failure – it’s biology. You are doing one of the most powerful things a human can do. If you doubt yourself at the moment, know that it’s completely normal. Your body is built for this and once you hold your baby, that doubt often disappears.
You are stronger than the story in your head.
5. You’ll Need Reassurance Before and After
Often, birth partners are told to be “supportive” – but what does that really mean? It means reminding you that you’re doing brilliantly when you’re tired and unsure. It means helping you advocate for what you need. Your partner needs to be your advocate, so remember to discuss with them your preferences so they can vouch for you.
And after birth? You might still have questions. Is this bleeding normal? Why do I feel emotional? Reassurance doesn’t stop when the baby arrives. You’re allowed to need support too.
Looking ahead? NCT antenatal classes are a great way to prepare for both labour and the early days of parenting – with expert-led sessions across the UK.
6. It’s OK to Feel Both Joy and Shock
The moment your baby is born may not be all soft music and tears of joy. You might feel overwhelmed, exhausted, even numb at first.
That doesn’t mean you won’t bond or that you’re doing something wrong. Labour is huge. You are allowed your own, personal response.
If you’re feeling unsure in the days and weeks after birth, you’re not alone. Support is available, including through PANDAS Foundation and the NHS postnatal mental health services.
7. Every Birth is Different
No matter how many stories you’ve heard, remember – yours will be unique. What worked for your best friend or sister might not work for you. And that’s OK.
Trust your instincts. Ask the questions. And believe in your ability to navigate whatever comes your way.
Your Journey Starts with Confidence
At Window to the Womb, we offer scans designed to support your pregnancy journey, whether you’re looking for early reassurance or a final wellbeing check before the big day.
We see how strong, capable and prepared you already are – even if you don’t feel it yet. Book your private scan here.
