Bringing home a new baby is an exciting milestone – but if you’ve already got a little one (or more) at home, it’s not just your life that’s about to change. While books and baby showers can prepare you for sleepless nights and nappies, there’s often less guidance on how to help older siblings adjust to the arrival of a new brother or sister. Here’s a realistic, no-fluff look at how to ease the transition – for everyone’s sake.
1. Start Early, But Keep It Age-Appropriate
As soon as your pregnancy starts to show, or when the baby is a sure thing in your daily life, it’s worth gently introducing the idea. For toddlers, a simple explanation like “Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy” might be enough. Older children might want to know how the baby got there (good luck with that conversation!) or whether they’ll have to share their toys.
Don’t overload them with information all at once. Keep the dialogue going and let their questions guide you.
2. Normalise Mixed Emotions
Be honest: you might be feeling a mixture of excitement, anxiety, and even guilt. Your child will likely feel the same. One day they may be thrilled about being a big brother or sister, the next they may say they don’t want the baby at all. That’s normal. Let them know it’s okay to feel all those things. Don’t dismiss their concerns, even if they sound silly or selfish – especially when they say, “Will you still have time to cuddle me?”
3. Get Them Involved – But Don’t Overdo It
Inviting your child to help choose a toy or outfit for the baby can make them feel part of the process. If they want to help decorate the nursery or pick a name (and you’re brave enough), go for it. But don’t turn your pregnancy into a full-time sibling project. They don’t need pressure to love the baby from day one – they just need to feel secure.
4. Be Honest About the Baby Phase
Avoid sugar-coating newborn life. Explain that babies cry, sleep a lot, and won’t be able to play right away. You might say, “The baby won’t talk or play with toys yet. But they’ll love watching you, and one day you’ll be the one teaching them things.”
This helps prevent unrealistic expectations and disappointment.
5. Create a “Big Sibling” Routine
Big changes are easier to handle with structure. If possible, keep your child’s daily routine consistent—same bedtime stories, same school runs, same cuddles. If things will change (e.g., someone else doing the nursery drop-offs), start making those adjustments before the baby arrives so they don’t associate all the disruptions with the new sibling.
A simple idea: make a “big sibling box” filled with quiet-time activities or special toys they only get to use when you’re feeding or changing the baby. It gives them something to look forward to rather than feeling left out.
6. Plan for Visitors Wisely
When family and friends come to see the baby, ask them to greet your older child first. A quick “Hello, big brother! How are you?” before cooing over the newborn can make all the difference.
Even better – if they bring a gift for the baby, ask if they can bring something small for your other child too (a sticker book or snack will do). It’s a gesture that says, “You matter just as much.”
7. Watch for Regressions – And Handle Them Gently
Don’t be surprised if your toilet-trained child starts having accidents again, or if your once-confident pre-schooler suddenly wants to be carried everywhere. Regression is a normal reaction to big changes. Avoid punishments or shame; what they need is reassurance, not discipline.
8. One-on-One Time Is Gold
Even 10 minutes of undivided attention can mean the world. Play a quick game, read a book, or just have a silly chat while the baby naps. Let them know they’re still your baby too – even if you’re now holding another one.
Final Thoughts
Preparing older siblings for a baby is less about making them excited and more about helping them feel secure, seen, and included. There’s no perfect formula, and there will likely be bumps along the way – but that’s family life. With patience, honesty, and a bit of flexibility, you’ll help build the foundation for a sibling bond that grows stronger with time.
