Becoming a mum for the first time is one of the biggest changes you’ll ever experience. It’s exciting, emotional, and, at times, utterly exhausting. You’ve probably been bombarded with advice from books, midwives, friends, and even strangers in the supermarket. But when it comes down to it, nothing truly prepares you for those first few weeks.
So, let’s be honest about what you really need to know – without the fluff, pressure, or guilt.
1. You Don’t Need Everything the Baby Shops Tell You
It’s easy to get carried away with shopping lists that make you feel like you need every baby gadget available. The truth? Your baby’s needs are simple in those first few months. Focus on the essentials:
Baby Basics
✔ Nappies – Whether you choose disposable or reusable, you’ll need plenty. Newborns go through 8–12 a day.
✔ Babygrows (Sleepsuits) & Vests – Get ones with poppers or zips for easy changes. Around 7–10 of each should do.
✔ Muslin Cloths – These are lifesavers for feeding, cleaning up spills, or acting as an emergency bib. Have at least 10 handy.
✔ A Safe Sleeping Space – Whether it’s a cot, Moses basket, or bedside crib, make sure it follows safe sleep guidelines.
✔ Blankets & Swaddle Wraps – Depending on the season, you’ll need light or thicker layers.
Feeding Supplies
- Breastfeeding? Have a breast pump, nipple cream, breast pads, and a comfy pillow.
- Formula feeding? Stock up on bottles, formula, a bottle steriliser, and a bottle brush.
- Combination feeding? Be flexible and see what works best for you and your baby.
Other Essentials
- Changing Mat & Wipes – A simple mat and fragrance-free wipes are all you need.
- A Good Pram or Baby Carrier – Get something that suits your lifestyle. If you use public transport a lot, a lightweight pushchair is a great choice.
- Car Seat (If You Have a Car) – Make sure it’s fitted correctly before baby arrives.
You don’t need a wipe warmer, a nappy bin that costs a fortune, or ten different types of baby swings. Keep it simple, and you’ll save money and space!
2. Sleep Deprivation is Real – Here’s How to Cope
You’ve probably heard it a million times: “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” In reality, that’s not always possible. There’s washing to do, visitors to entertain, and sometimes, you just want to enjoy a hot cup of tea in peace.
Instead, try this:
✔ Nap when you can, but don’t stress if you can’t. Even resting with your eyes closed helps.
✔ Take shifts if possible. If you have a partner, split night feeds or early mornings so you each get some rest.
✔ Accept help. If someone offers to hold the baby for an hour while you sleep, say yes!
✔ Create a simple bedtime routine early on. Even newborns respond well to a gentle routine—dim lights, a warm bath, and a quiet feed can help signal bedtime.
✔ Don’t expect miracles. Some babies sleep well early on, others take months (or years) to settle. Try not to compare.
3. Feeding Can Be Hard – And That’s Okay
Whether you’re breastfeeding, bottle-feeding, or a mix of both, feeding your baby isn’t always as straightforward as you might hope.
If You’re Breastfeeding:
- The first few weeks can be painful and exhausting. Sore nipples, engorgement, and cluster feeding are normal.
- It’s okay to struggle. If you need help, contact a lactation consultant or breastfeeding support group.
- Pumping isn’t always easy. Some mums respond well to a pump, others don’t. Either way, you’re doing great.
If You’re Bottle-Feeding:
- Finding the right formula can be trial and error. Some babies need special types (for reflux or allergies), so speak to your health visitor if needed.
- Prep in advance. A perfect prep machine or pre-boiling water and keeping it in a thermos can make night feeds easier.
Most Importantly:
- Fed is best. Whether it’s breast, bottle, or both, what matters is that your baby is happy and growing.
4. The Emotional Rollercoaster is Normal
The baby blues are real and usually hit around day 3–5 when your hormones crash. You might find yourself crying over nothing, feeling overwhelmed, or just emotionally exhausted.
This usually passes, but if you feel persistently low, anxious, or detached from your baby, you might have postnatal depression or postnatal anxiety. You are not alone, and help is available through your GP, health visitor, or organisations like the NCT and PANDAS Foundation.
💡 Top Tip: Try to get outside for fresh air daily – even a short walk can boost your mood.
5. Everyone Has an Opinion – Learn to Tune Them Out
The moment you have a baby, people will start giving you unsolicited advice:
❌ “You’re holding them too much – you’ll spoil them!”
❌ “You should be doing sleep training already.”
❌ “You’re breastfeeding/formula feeding? Oh, I wouldn’t have done that!”
The truth? Every baby is different, and only you know what works for your family.
💡 How to handle it:
✔ Smile, nod, and do what feels right for you.
✔ Don’t feel pressured to justify your choices.
✔ If needed, set boundaries with well-meaning family and friends.
6. Ask for Help – And Accept It!
You don’t have to do this alone. If someone offers to cook, clean, or watch the baby while you shower, say yes!
💡 Who Can Help?
✔ Partner – Get them involved in nappies, feeds, and settling baby.
✔ Family & Friends – Let them help in ways that make life easier.
✔ Midwives & Health Visitors – They’re there to support you, so ask questions.
7. Remember: You’re Doing an Amazing Job
It’s easy to feel like you’re not doing enough or that you’re getting things wrong. But here’s the truth: you are enough, just as you are.
Some days will be tough. Some days, you’ll feel like you’ve got it all together. And some days, just getting dressed is an achievement – and that’s okay!
Your baby doesn’t need a perfect mum. They just need you.
So, take a deep breath, trust your instincts, and know that you’re doing brilliantly.
Motherhood isn’t about having all the answers – it’s about learning as you go. There will be mistakes, tears, and plenty of laughter along the way. Just take it one day at a time, and don’t forget to look after yourself too 💛
