Becoming a mum is life-changing, wonderful… and incredibly hard. While there’s endless advice about feeding, sleep schedules, and baby gear, there’s a lot that doesn’t get talked about. Here are some important, honest truths that new mums often keep to themselves – but shouldn’t.
1. Post-Birth Recovery Can Be Tougher Than Expected
Whether you’ve had a vaginal birth or a C-section, your body has been through a major event. Stitches, bleeding, and general soreness are common, yet many mums feel pressure to “bounce back” quickly. Take it slow -rest, ask for help, and know that your body needs time to heal. There’s no shame in prioritising your recovery.
2. Emotions Are All Over the Place
The “baby blues” are very real, and postpartum hormones can make you feel like you’re on a rollercoaster. From unexpected tears to feelings of frustration or anxiety, it’s normal – but if these emotions persist or worsen, it’s important to reach out. Postnatal depression is common and nothing to be ashamed of.
3. Breastfeeding Isn’t Always Natural or Easy
For some, breastfeeding feels intuitive. For others, it’s painful, stressful, or just doesn’t work out. Both experiences are valid. Don’t be afraid to ask for support from midwives, health visitors, or lactation consultants – and remember, fed is best, however that happens.
4. You Might Feel Lonely
Even with a beautiful baby in your arms, new mums can feel incredibly isolated. The shift from adult social interactions to endless feeding and nappy changes can be overwhelming. Connecting with other parents – whether at baby groups, online forums, or through friends – can make a huge difference.
5. Your Relationship Will Change
Bringing a baby home can put strain on your relationship. Sleep deprivation, differing parenting styles, and lack of quality time can all take a toll. Open communication is key – and don’t feel guilty about needing a break together (or apart!).
6. Your Identity Might Feel Lost
Many new mums struggle with a sense of losing themselves. You’re still you, even if your priorities have shifted. Taking time for activities you enjoy – even if it’s just 15 minutes of reading or a hot bath – can help you reconnect with yourself.
7. Mum Guilt is Relentless
Whether it’s feeding choices, screen time, or leaving your baby to cry for five minutes while you shower – mum guilt can feel overwhelming. Remind yourself that you’re doing your best. Perfection isn’t possible, and your love and care are what matter most.
8. It’s Okay to Ask for Help
You don’t need to do it all alone. Whether it’s asking a partner, friend, or family member to hold the baby while you nap, or seeking professional help if you’re struggling – asking for support is a strength, not a weakness.
Final Thought: Be Kind to Yourself
New mums are bombarded with advice, pressure, and unrealistic expectations. Trust your instincts, lean on your support network, and remember that you’re not alone. Sharing these unspoken struggles with others can help break the silence – and remind you that you’re doing an incredible job.
